Don't Be Like Me & Wait Years To Heal Old Wounds

All I know is pain

I’ve felt it my entire life

I know exactly what it feels like to not be respected by your peers

Even my own family didn’t respect me

I was bullied and made fun growing up

I’ve learned at an early age, how to read people because of this

I’ve wasted years upon years worrying about what people think about me

It made me battle many addictions

I didn’t know it then

But I know it now

I used my addictions as a way to escape my suffering

The last thing I want to see is somebody making the same mistakes that i’ve made

I see to many people more worried about their image and it kills me to see it

None of that matters

Of course, you should never tolerate disrespect

Just look at it like this, no matter the situation

There will always be that one person to judge

There will always be that one person who disagrees with you

There will always be that one person who doesn’t like you

Sometimes you just gotta accept it and keep it moving

It took me years to realize this

Everybody is not going to understand you

Especially the masses

The ones who follow the crowd, can’t even figure out themselves

Thats why I stopped caring about what that crowd thinks

Of course you should still care about certain things

It’s only natural to care about what your family thinks about you

But even then

The case still remains

Not everybody is going to rock with you

It came to a point where isolation is the only place that I feel comfort

I’ve been an outcast for too long

Now the solution is simple

If you are in a situation where you are stuck in your hometown

Moving out is the best solution

That’s one of the only ways that i’ve learned on how to discover myself

I read body language well

It was hard for me growing up

Because even my “friends” didn’t respect me

They would make there slick comments

It wasn’t hard to read in between the lines

I’m sure you know exactly what it feels like

For nobody to understand you

I’ve been in dark places my entire life

If only they would see me for who I actually am

As you get older, none of that matters anymore

You gotta learn how to do things for yourself

Unfortunately I never learned the art of giving

I only hung out with people who took from me

I was in a car accident and had all this money from it

Now suddenly everybody wants to hang out with me

It was so fake but I still hung out with them anyways

My mother made me feel like a loser if I just stayed home

I would beat myself up for it

I wanted friends but for some reason I only attracted friends that did not have my best interest

So I hung out with them to escape

Drinking was the only time I felt comfortable in my skin

At Least comfortable enough to be social

My house growing up was so toxic

Constantly walking on eggshells every single day

I should’ve developed skills to better myself

But instead I wasted my years hating myself

And It affected my current household and my family that i’ve built

It’s not what I had in mind

I didn’t wanna raise a child in this environment

I had to change

Don’t be like me and let years go by

I didn’t have anybody to encourage me to do the right thing

You don’t have to feel pressured to hang out with certain crowds, just so you can escape reality

The truth is, that does more harm than it does good

Work on yourself

Work on self love

Or if you are in a toxic environment

Atleast work on the skills so you can properly escape it

I wish I did that at an earlier age

Or I wouldn’t have felt so stuck and hopeless in my 30’s

The fact of the matter is, I had all the opportunity in the world

I just didn’t take advantage

This is why I encourage people in there 20’s to properly heal

You need to properly heal from that trauma

Or it will hold you back 100%

I hate to see someone wasting there full potential

Where it takes you years upon years to discover yourself

One thing I will say is,  I wished I learned the things that I do now

Which is why i’m here to help those who are hurting

I feel a deep sense of sympathy for those who are pain and suffering

I’ve battled addiction after addiction because of my trauma

But I’m still standing, stronger than ever

If I can do it, then anybody can do it

The fact of the matter is, NEVER stop believing

There is ALWAYS hope

Even if you are a late bloomer

Thats fine

I was too

In life, we never stop learning

Sometimes you don’t see what you are made of until you face certain adversity