No Matter How Bad It Seems: Keep Going (Learn From My Story)

No matter how bad it seems, you just gotta keep it moving

I’ve been in the fire

Been through the storms

At times it feels like it’s never going to end

But you can’t let it keep you down

No matter how bad it seems, you always gotta get back up

Don’t worry about the materialistic things

Those things come and go

When you  put all your focus on that, you are chasing

Don’t be like me

I’ve wasted years upon years chasing

Only to end up unsatisfied every single time

It’s the small things in life that we take for granted

I put so much blame and pressure on myself

That it left me feeling empty

I self sabotaged myself to the point that I almost lost it all

But God saved me

& For that, I owe him my life

I was so unhappy and hated myself that I was willing to sacrifice myself

All so everybody can be happy

I thought so lowly of myself that I put all the blame on myself

Even if that means intentionally making everybody hate me

God had another plan

If somehow, someway, I can make the world a better place so be it

If it’s to give glory to his name, how can I be against that?

He simply knows what’s best and made me look at the bigger picture

Made me realize that I need to be careful what I say

Made me realize that I need to be more thoughtful of what I say or how others may perceive it

Made me realize that I already have it all

All this time I was unhappy, not realizing how blessed I truly was

I literally have everything that I ever wanted my entire life

How could I be so stupid to take it foregranted?

The truth is that I have addictions that I simply couldn’t escape

The more and more that I did it, the lower I went

No matter how much I was ascending

My addictions made me go right back down

Not only that but I was responsible for bringing everybody low with me

I hated myself for it

I just couldn’t stop

I knew I had to stop tho

So instead of getting caught

I just had to tell her

I had to tell her the truth

It was hard

Still is hard to this day

But she is worthy of that respect

I no longer will repeat the same patterns that I watched growing up

I needed to take full responsibility and end this cycle now

No longer will I raise my son in a toxic environment

To be honest, I was pretty much responsible for it

Alot of the arguments that I had were because of me lusting over other women

Of course that is only going to cause conflict or insecurities 

It’s not like it was the first time

It was hard and there are still days where its a struggle, not only for me but for her

But there has been a shift

The most important part is that I was able to control my urges

Transmutation on a whole other level

Something that was so hard for me to stay away from is now easy

It’s not even a consideration anymore

I realize how bad I messed up

I realize how much I hurt her

I realize that I needed to stop

As I said, she is worthy of that respect so the only thing I can do is be righteous

Going to God has def helped and made me to a better person

I was once a person with no hope whatsoever

But now I have faith

The power of prayer is real

If you got a good woman at home, don’t be stupid

Don’t entertain other women

I promise you that it will catch up to you

The guilt ate me up

I couldn’t take it anymore

& it affected me and my relationship in many ways

I could’ve found a better way to address the situation

But what I can say confidently is that i’m no longer living with that guilt

Its sort of a sense of relief, atleast in that department

Because now I know I have nothing to hide

Of course there are going to be other battles that I have to face

But I can live with it

I have no other choice

The faster you let go and accept the circumstances the better

This is why I preach keep going, no matter how bad it seems

If I can help anybody, even if thats one person then I will gladly share my story so nobody makes the same mistakes that I once did.